What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
