What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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