Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
