So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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