What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
