that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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