community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
