SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We're too hungover to prance.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
