i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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