so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
