butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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