By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
