he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
