I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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