You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
