So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
