I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
