I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
