Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
