She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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