Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
