No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
