I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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