So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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