he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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