We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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