I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
