I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
