If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
