i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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