shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
