So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
