im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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