rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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