I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
