we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
foreskin is a definite game changer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
