So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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