would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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