Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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