Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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