am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
