Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
