I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
