I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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