I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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