Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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