her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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