Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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