from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
