I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
