I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
