He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
