What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
