normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
